Article 3- Connection with food and people
In our third and final article for the year, we will look at the connection we make with people while sharing a meal with them. We want to make sure to enjoy fellowship with family and friends over a meal. It should not matter what we eat, or how the table is set, what matter is connecting with the people and spending time with them while enjoying a meal together.
How do we connect with life through what we eat?
Many of us realize that eating is a physical act. Our bodies harness energy from food in order to move around, be active, and live life. But do you recognize that we connect with people through eating too?
When we share a meal with friends, family, or co-workers, we are entering into a venue of connection.
We connect through conversation, eating together, laughing together, and talking. There are many layers of interconnection that can occur within a meal, we get to relate to another human being.
It is important to be grateful for where the food is coming from and the journey it took to end up on your plate:
The seed, which was planted in a field and tended to by a caring farmer and workers, bathed in sunlight and moonlight, visited by a multitude of insects, when, eventually, the seed transformed into a vegetable picked by someone’s loving hand. The vegetable made a hearty journey to ultimately make it to the store or farmer’s market. It connected with someone enough for it to be selected and bought.
You or a chef/cook took great skill in preparing it into a dish, and days later, it has found its way to your plate.
Therefore, it is very important to choose the food we eat wisely and always be thankful for having food to eat and to share with others.
How does binge eating relate to this?
The first time you were told to “finish everything on your plate” was the day that you began to override your body’s intuitive hunger cues. Your excessive appetite and binge eating can also be directly related to your childhood relationship with your family.
If you are still harbouring unresolved feelings towards family members, chances are you are holding on to extra weight, which quite possibly could be one of the triggers for binge eating.
Is your willpower non-existent?
Do you tell yourself you won’t eat certain foods or won’t binge/purge only to give in a few days, or even hours, later? Do you find yourself rebelling against your own rules?
Discover how your childhood relationship with parents/authority figures dictates your ability to exercise willpower and controls your behaviour around food.
It is important to know that we can learn how to resolve these past “family relationships” and the unconscious things we have started to believe and allowed to influence our lives. It is always helpful to talk things out with people and to forgive them even when they have hurt you. Communication is key to letting go of your pride and forgiving others. It might not always be easy, but this will bring you the freedom you need to live a better and healthier life.
Here are a few ideas to guide you in a stress-free family gathering…
For many, getting a big family together doesn’t always reflect the pretty picture we see in all the TV commercials.
In fact, it can feel downright overwhelming!
“Will my mother-in-law judge my cooking again?”
“Will that annoying uncle make another inappropriate comment?”
“Will I have to deal with the tension between relatives?”
What’s meant to be a joyous experience leaves us holding our breath and wishing for the best, but it turns out we have more power than we think to create a great experience.
Here are 5 tips to set you up for a wonderful gathering:
- Let Go of Expectations.
I hate to state the obvious, but we often have these unrealistic expectations and the idea that things need to be perfect and run smoothly to have a good time.
So I’m here to break the news to you: that annoying aunty… she might never change them. It’s not your job to change her. That cousin that is always late, might be late again. You may drop the pavlova you spent hours making on the floor.
But, when we let go of the expectation that things or people need to be perfect, we are able to see all there is to celebrate.
- Heal the ‘Buttons’.
I have one relative who is very good at pushing my buttons. Every year I would face some comments about my weight. When she would say, “You look like you lost weight,” I’d smile and say, “Thank you,” when internally I was screaming, “Why does my body need to be a topic of conversation?!”
Whether it’s someone commenting on how you look or asking about your relationship status or job, when you find yourself saying, “They push my buttons,” it’s time to leave the buttons at home.
When struggling with body confidence, it`s like walking around with a giant open wound. Any comment can burn you but eventually when accepting you cannot change them; you can only heal that wound.
When we take responsibility for the button and heal it, then there is no button to press.
- Choose What You Bring
I’m not talking about what type of casserole. We are talking about the law of attraction. When you enter a room feeling tense and expecting the worst, that is exactly what you bring into that space.
Take a few minutes to pause and check in with the following: What matters most, the attitude you bring to the table or the dish.?
Consciously, choose what you’re bringing, and it will be delicious such as gratitude, playfulness, compassion, excitement, and joy.
- You’re Only Responsible for Your Experience
You can choose what you’re bringing to the table, but you can’t control what others bring.
When we go into a family situation feeling like we are responsible for everyone having a good time, our minds begin to search for whatever we believe needs fixing. Then we only see what’s wrong, and we let someone else’s mood impact our own. Bring your best energy and the rest will flow…!
- Remember What It’s All About
It’s not about the perfect table setting or the food; it’s about connection and gratitude.
We come together as a family to celebrate all of life’s blessings and to connect with each other. The best way we can do this is by slowing down and allowing ourselves to be present.
Be present with joy, excitement, and kindness.
Take in the moment because there are no guarantees in life. You’ll never get to relive this holiday season again. It’s a moment in time. Celebrate the gift!
May you experience love, hope, joy, and peace this Holiday Season!
Merry Christmas and blessings from Teoma Health