Article 1- Anxiety Tool Kit
The end of the year is approaching quickly, and Christmas is around the corner.
We will take a closer look at how our Mental Health can be affected during this busy time of year. I will share helpful tools to change the way we think about ourselves, other people, situations, and our food choices.
Here is an example of the mind of a mum during this time of year;
What colour scheme will I go with for Christmas day? What will we eat? I need to remember when the prawn sale starts! What gift will I get my husband/kids this year? Did I order the correct gift? When will my gift orders arrive? I still need to wrap everything up! Who is coming to Christmas lunch and dinner? I hope everyone gets along this year! I still need to clean the house! Where are the Christmas decorations? I need to remember everyone’s dietary requirements and allergies! Will I get everything done in time? What will I wear? Are the holiday flights booked? Will I fit into my swimsuit?..........
Our minds need to process all of this, and it can be overwhelming.
Our anxiety levels can build up rapidly and affect our mental health in a negative way.
As Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” It’s time to take a different approach, a much deeper one to truly heal your relationship with food and your body.
This week we will look at part one of a three-part article.
Part one is a helpful Anxiety Toolkit:
Firstly, Here are 4 B’s, that will give us a better understanding of how to separate the physical sensations from the mental stories.
- When we BELIEVE scary thoughts about ourselves, life becomes more stressful.
- When we BERATE (dislike/hate feeling anxious or the sensation of anxiety itself) or think that it is just the way we were born. This misconception can easily lead to self-pity and increase our anxiety levels.
- When we BECOME AWARE of the thoughts that are contributing to anxiety, we can start to understand our true feelings and needs.
- Being in the present and changing your thought pattern from ‘what if’ to ‘what is' (present moment). Notice what you see, hear and touch.
Secondly, Find creative ways to respond to anxious thoughts that can help soothe your mind and see what is best for you.
We often have MOMOlogue; like moms do. When we give our anxious thoughts too much attention, our anxious stories become and feel real. It becomes like a scary movie playing over and over in our minds, increasing our anxiety even more.
How can we respond to and change our anxious internal thoughts and movies into a melody of beautiful music that eases our minds?
Here are ways to respond to anxious internal thoughts and movies:
- Be consciously aware of your breathing, taking deep when you are in the ‘What If land’
Using different breathing techniques as an anker to calm down: conscious breathing always takes us back home if we.
- Upgrade your internal dialogue from scary and negative to loving, calming soothing, and positive.
It helps to have a heart-to-heart with the anxious part of you, either internally or on paper. Upgrading our internal dialogue from a scary and negative one to a soothing one.
Tune into your heart: the kind, loving, compassionate, caring, calm, and wise part of you. Deep compassion and kindness, offer comfort and wisdom.
Rather let this positive and calming movie play in your mind.
- Letting go of things that are out of our control.
We cannot control what other people do, speak, or think, but we can control what we do and speak.
When we think in a certain negative way about a situation or person, we always have the choice of how we will react.
Ask yourself; Do I have control over this situation? How will I react?
It is always better to choose to respond in a loving, caring way because we do not know what that person is going through in life.
- Self-soothing practices
Negative self-talk can be stopped and changed. Learning to speak to yourself like a loving and caring parent would talk to his/her child. With practice, you can treat yourself with comfort, kindness, and respect.
Self-soothing thought patterns in anxious times:
e.g. picture yourself when you were a child and someone caring for you, sat: I am right here with you, you are ok, it is ok, breathe, I love you, at this moment you are safe, it will all unfold, this feeling will pass, all that scary is in the future and it is safe right now, if that happens we will deal right then but now it is not happening, notice what is right here and right now.
You can also imagine setting yourself in a warm bath, a majestic forest, resting in a hammock on a beach, a park…, in a cottage in nature, deeply resting in a comfortable bed, surrounded by safe people or total silence, soothing colour and calming breeze, all your troubling thoughts in a balloon and sending them away, your day peacefully and free of anxiety.
Thirdly: Questioning your stressful thoughts
Our thoughts are responsible for fuelling the flame of anxiety.
Anxious body sensation is like flooding waters and anxious thoughts are like an overflowing pump.
We will question our stressful thoughts. Don`t believe every thought that is popping up in your mind (like the pop-up ads on your computer).
When we become aware of the thoughts that scare us, we might realise that our thoughts have gotten control of our system and that might be scary.
Here is a great exercise to do when anxiety seems to overwhelm you. Sit still or walk through your home, and begin to place your focus specifically on any complaint that arises in your mind. Be very clear and focused as you write down each complaint. Continue to add complaints to your list throughout the day as you become aware of them. Continue to cultivate this state of awareness, one complaint at a time. Use short, uncomplicated sentences.
This exercise isn’t about piling on guilt; it’s about noticing how often we let our mind out of the present moment.
When you come up with a thought that is causing you stress: e.g., I'm not good enough, no one cares, I don’t do enough, nobody understands me…
Write down these thoughts and ask yourself: Why am I thinking this way? And then answer the following questions about these thoughts.
- Is this true? and give a YES or NO
If NO then go to question 3, if YES then:
- Can you absolutely know your answer is true? Yes or No
- How do you react or feel when you believe this thought? Here you go inside and see how this particular thought affects you.
- Who would you be without this thought? And what would it be like if you would not have that thought? Write down how you would feel or be without this thought.
Then we can turn the thoughts around and ask why we feel this way about ourselves, so that we may see why we think this way in a new, truthful way.
Often the thoughts we think about someone else, are a true reflection of what we are going through ourselves.
Here is an example of how a turnaround can be true for you.
Eg. My partner doesn’t listen to me <> my partner to listen to me or I don’t listen to my partner, I don’t listen to myself
Play with the original thoughts that bring some inside and be true and less stressful.
I have no clue if that is true as the thoughts that are causing anxiety are not actually facts.
Not focusing on how these thoughts make us feel but staying focused on the truth about these thoughts and feelings and where and why they have originated.
By understanding more about ourselves and what we believe about ourselves and others, we can turn this Christmas Season into the true meaning of the season. To be a joyful, loving, and peaceful time of the year, enjoying special time with Family and friends.
Next week we look at how binge eating and guilt overeating are affecting our minds and bodies and how to avoid it.